Thoughts On The Matter Of Assholeishness

So this boy I love, he's pretty much an asshole 50% of the time. But I mean, I love him, and I put up with it. A lot of the time he's just messing around, but sometimes the things he says can really hit home. It gets kind of hard not to get offended or feel exposed to the point where it's hard not to break down, honestly. Plus, he just asked to have the url to this personal, and I say things on here I don't necessarily feel completely comfortable letting him read. I mean, they're about him, so they're kinda corny and lovey and mushy. Which again, is not something I normally do. So he's like, I don't know, judging me and shit, and I don't like it. Plus he overlooks the quotes that I post, which is basically the important part. It's just really hard not to react in a pissed off way a lot of the time because he just pushes my buttons. And what makes it so damn frustrating is that he knows he's doing it and he's doing it on purpose. He basically thrives on pushing people to the point where everything that they're afraid of or trying to hide is completely exposed. He leaves you out in the open raw and vulnerable. And then there are times when this thing he does just leaves me in complete awe. Like, it's amazing how one person, one comment, one poke in the right place can just bring a person to their knees. It's terrifying but beautiful at the same time. Terrifying because I know that at any moment I can just be stripped of all my defenses and left lying there, helpless. And beautiful because that's how it should be, how it's supposed to be. Just you, exactly the way you are. Nothing to hide behind. Nothing to reveal because it's all already out there. You just have to look at it and learn it.