Don't edit yourself.  I don't want the half version, the kind you use to make parents adore you. I want you. I want the flaws, the straight forwardness, the cursing, and the misdirection. I want it all. I want your screw ups and laughs. I want the awkward... everything. I want your goofy. I want your anger. I want to fight with you. And I want you to piss me off. I want to frustrate you. Won't you let me? Will you let me in and show me how you operate?
*mine*

Just because it's not what you were expecting doesn't mean it's not everything you've been waiting for.

Take me as I am or watch me go.

Hold my hand and have a real conversation with me. Tell me something you only trust yourself with. Look me in the eyes and smile. Tell me what you really think of me, not what you want to think. Give me a chance and let yourself fall.
*better read this one*

Find somebody just as fucked up as you are and settle down.

I want one day to just be us, driving around, telling each other everything. I want to share my heart with you, explain why I am the way I am. I want to tell you my story, my complete story, and I want to hear yours. Take a drive with me, darling. 

*mine* 

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.

If I punched you in the face, would you still love me?

I asked myself why, and in the same breath, as I watch you, I got my answer. It’s everything about you. It’s that teasing smile and that warm scent. It’s the curve of your arms, the tousle of your hair, the ring of your voice. It’s just everything about you. But more than that, it’s everything about me. It’s everything about the way you make me laugh, cry, smile, and hurt. It’s everything about the way you make me feel.

To put it plain and simple, you make me happy.

Tired Eyes and Lonely Hearts

I can't really offer you much; but I can offer you that empty space of carpet right next to me. I can offer you late nights of you and me sitting together. I can share with you my mind, my words, and my music. And maybe it'll move you like you move me.

I wanna be your first weakness.

It's in your hands. If you want to be with me, I'm right here.

One good thing that came out of this fight and your mistake was that you realize that I’m something good for you. When you said that you ruined the only good thing you had going for you, I smiled. Finally, you see that not only am I the only one that can save you, but you see that you can lose me too. You see that messing up could cost you. 

*mine*

I believe in you and I believe in us. And I'm really not ready for you to break my heart again.

Becoming someone you never liked is tough. You can see it happening, you can feel it happening, but for some reason you're unable to stop it. You just wish you knew how.

I wish you would come over and drink some hot chocolate and watch a movie while wrapped in a blanket with me.

Be careful of your thoughts. They may become words at any second.

I look at you, and suddenly, I believe in magic. You make every worry disappear. I feel like when people look at us together, they can believe in magic too. They can see the way we tease each other, the way we’re not all over each other, and the way we’re just hanging out and yet still see that we’re crazy about each other. We’re different, sure, but we’re just as in love as everyone else. 

*mine*

You and I are the stuff of novels. The stupid romantic comedies that make you want to throw things at the tv screen.

I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

I love you constantly, even in spite of you. I love you even when you mess up time after time. And I'll never abandon you, I'll just keep loving you even when you try to run and hide.

*mine*

I know what it is, not to feel like you're in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know you're with him... you're his.

When someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's fearless to stop believing them.

You have no idea what you have over me, but you have it.

Long Week

This week has seemed to drag on forever. It's only Wednesday, and I feel like it should be next Monday already. I'm not going home and no one's coming up to visit this weekend, so I don't know what in the world I'm going to do. On the bright side, the weather's nice today. It makes me smile, and it makes me really happy that I don't have to bundle up just to go get food.
Anywho, quotes : )

Where is your heart? How into this are you? It’s like, you’re so hard to read, but you expect me to know what you’re thinking. You’re slowly opening the gate for me, and I see that. I really see it. I know you’re trying. But what I really need to know is where your heart is. I need to know if you’re devoted to this, to us. Are you in this, or are you still unsure? What’s holding you back? Give me something. Just tell me where you are.

*mine*

I've lost my morals because of you.

 

 

The hardest thing I've ever done was tell you I loved you when I knew you weren't going to say it back. 

See? This is exactly why I'm a psych major. I love figuring out why people do what they do and why they think like they do; it's amazing to me. It's like, every time I learn a new theory and can apply it to something I've seen, heard, or experienced previously, it's like these huge doors are being opened in front of me and I'm being told that I'm allowed to go inside and check everything out, explore everything. And that in itself just takes my breath away. Every theory holds a brand new door for me to go in and collect the information inside.

*mine*

I can't help but shake every time I think of what you did to me.

I'm in love with you and your flaws.

That damn pipe you smoke, it's unhealthy. Those stupid cigars and the lounge with the makeshift tables and chairs. It's lame. It's dumb. It's slowly affecting your health. But the smile on your face when you talk about all of that crap breaks my heart. I'm not someone who puts up with stupid things, but for you, for that smile, I'd do anything.

 *mine*

If you thought you could chase me away you were dead wrong.

You told me you missed me. I didn’t believe you meant it. You stood there with your hands around my waist and kissed me like you meant it. And then I felt like you meant it; I knew you meant it. I hate the distance between us; I miss you every day.

*mine*

I was always here for you, even when I wasn't.

Starting over doesn’t mean going back to the beginning. You have changed since then. You’re smarter, stronger, wiser and different. It’s not going back to the start, it’s getting closer to the prize.

Thoughts On The Matter Of Assholeishness

So this boy I love, he's pretty much an asshole 50% of the time. But I mean, I love him, and I put up with it. A lot of the time he's just messing around, but sometimes the things he says can really hit home. It gets kind of hard not to get offended or feel exposed to the point where it's hard not to break down, honestly. Plus, he just asked to have the url to this personal, and I say things on here I don't necessarily feel completely comfortable letting him read. I mean, they're about him, so they're kinda corny and lovey and mushy. Which again, is not something I normally do. So he's like, I don't know, judging me and shit, and I don't like it. Plus he overlooks the quotes that I post, which is basically the important part. It's just really hard not to react in a pissed off way a lot of the time because he just pushes my buttons. And what makes it so damn frustrating is that he knows he's doing it and he's doing it on purpose. He basically thrives on pushing people to the point where everything that they're afraid of or trying to hide is completely exposed. He leaves you out in the open raw and vulnerable. And then there are times when this thing he does just leaves me in complete awe. Like, it's amazing how one person, one comment, one poke in the right place can just bring a person to their knees. It's terrifying but beautiful at the same time. Terrifying because I know that at any moment I can just be stripped of all my defenses and left lying there, helpless. And beautiful because that's how it should be, how it's supposed to be. Just you, exactly the way you are. Nothing to hide behind. Nothing to reveal because it's all already out there. You just have to look at it and learn it.

For You :p

I've got this wonderful boy that loves me. And honestly, it feels great. I've never been so insanely crazy about anyone before in my life. I mean, sure, I've done some crazy shit because of boys before, but this is different. I stick with him and put up with everything he does and doesn't do. Which is not something I've been known to do. So he's special. The exception to everything. And I love him. :)

So enough babbling. I'll mostly post quotes on here, but pictures may slip in every now and then. Hope you like! :)

If you don't understand my silence, you don't deserve my words.

It's crazy how he can't bear to see me by another guy's side, but he doesn't want me right by his either.

You can call it fate or destiny. Sometimes it really seems like it's a mystery cause you can be hurt by love or healed by the same. Timing is everything. It can happen so fast or a little bit late; timing is everything.

The greatest war ever fought is between a girl's head and her heart. The mind telling her, "There's no way." The heart whispers, "Maybe someday..."
*mine*

And it became so clear so suddenly, baby, you're allergic to honesty.

Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess. The queen protects the king in the game of chess.

It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world is on anybody's shoulders but their own. You smile and kiss their face gently before turning back around and somehow, an involuntary grin forms on your face. Just before you drift off to sleep, you feel an arm wrap around your wait and you know. :)

There are times when we won't see each other for a while, he's got his life and I've got mine. But then all he has to do is smile and he has me again.

Sure, it's nice to trust people, but never stop relying on yourself.

My roommate won't STOP SINGING. At the beginning of the year it wasn't so bad. She's got a good voice. And by that I mean that it doesn't suck. I hear her so much that I don't even know what good singing sounds like anymore. It prolly wouldn't be half as bad if she weren't singing gospel all the time. Gospel just drives me nuts! I liked it in my church back at home, and I still do, because of the way out director does it and because it's more than one freaking person. Plus, it's the place of worship. Now there's the argument that everywhere is a place of worship, but 24/7? Really? There needs to be a limit. And it's not like it's quiet singing to herself either. It's LOUD. Plus, she talks on the phone. A lot. And she's loud then too. I shot her a look earlier today when she was literally screaming on the phone. And she thought that was hilarious too. But at least she apologized and kind of quieted down. I like quiet. I'm a very quiet person. Especially when I'm tired. And I'm SO tired today. I just spent the weekend with my boyyyy and it was such a good weekend! It was kinda like our first weekend as a couple. Cause he just recently started calling me his girlfriend to his friends. :) He makes me so very happy.
So yeah. I just had to vent a little about my roommate since I can't do it on facebook, hahaha. Besides, all of this wouldn't have fit in a status update anyway. :) Quotes!

You choose to stay with him; you live with what he does.

Without trust, you have nothing.

My only regrets are that I couldn't give you enough reason to stay.

Someday, love will finally be enough.

*mine*

I did not need to know if he could love me. I needed to know if he could need me.

You fill in my missing pieces and I complete you. I guess that's why, despite the questions and challenges, I still believe in this and I still believe in us. And as long as we have each other, I think we'll be alright.

*mine*

Because I love you, you enormously stubborn pain in the ass.

*mine*

If a girl can put up with you through your worst days and stick with you through all your bullshit, it's kind of obvious you shouldn't let her go.

So maybe you're a little more than I can handle. You're looking at me with those eyes and I don't tihnk I can resist. So come on, boy, sweep me away.

I'm not afraid to try again. I'm just afraid of falling for the same trick twice.
*mine*

Life's been really good lately. With school, there's been snow and ice and mega wind so I haven't been to classes in a couple days. I'm thinking I won't go to my music history class tomorrow either just because I hate it so much. Besides, I don't have english class before that so I won't already be out. But I dunno yet. I'm kinda feeling like a lazy bum. But it's college, right? Aren't I supposed to be lazy and skip classes and be all around rebellious? I thought so too.
With other aspects of life, my family's good, my friends are good. My best girlie friend in the world came up to visit this past weekend, and we had a good time. Talked a bunch about our lives and our boys. : )  Speaking of boys, mine's taking me on a weekend getaway this weekend. We're staying in Indy, shopping and eating and chilling in our room. I'm super excited cause I haven't seen him since the semester break ended. I miss him a lot. Plus, he's telling me he loves me every 20 minutes. : )  I can't believe we're this happy. I thought it would take a lot longer to get to this part of our relationship, so I'm really happy and proud of him. He's come a long way, and I'm sure it hasn't been easy for him.
So anyway, I've been watching the Grey's Anatomy series and the songs they play in the episodes are amazing. I'm gonna put one in this post, so listen to it. : )