He didn't know who I was. He didn't know anything about my entire life up to that very second. I could have been anybody, and it made everything possible.
It didn't make you noble to step away from something that wasn't working, even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem, chances were you could also be the solution. The only way to find out was to take another shot.
In fact, I'd always approached boys this way, so methodically, making sure before I took even one step that they fit the profile. Except, of course, for one.
Why bother? That's the big question, isn't it? That's the whole problem here. I think we might just come out in the end. Maybe it won't be perfect, but I'm thinking it's worth a shot. That's just me, though.
I've always had a really strong feeling that out there somewhere is someone who would not just put up with my personality, but would actively like it. He would encourage me. He'd be somebody who doesn't enjoy the neutral beige of my mother's decorating. He'd be somebody who likes neon plaid. Polka dots. Pink with red. I knew it would be a long wait, but that's okay. I'm a patient girl. But I guess the truth is, I let myself hope a tiny bit that maybe, somehow, ironically, that person could possibly be you.
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
"I'm done," means "Fight for me, because I've done and said everything I can possibly think of to say. I've offered you everything I know how to offer and more. I've sacrificed all of my beliefs, I thought there was a way to work past this, but I've got no energy left. I'm tired and my heart hurts. So if you still want this, us, me, come and get it."
*mine*
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